House of Mourning

Ecclesiastes 7: 1-4 states:

A good name is better than precious ointment,
And the day of death than the day of one's birth;
Better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting,
For that is the end of all men;
And the living will take it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

I've been in the house of mourning for the past few weeks. My grandmother had been in failing health since the end of August and she passed away this past Saturday.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-3 was confusing to me. How could I understand statements like "sorrow is better than laughter" or "the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning"? My sorrow sure doesn't feel better than laughter and I certainly don't feel any wiser. Nevertheless, I purposed in my heart to believe God's word since it is the truth and began to read commentaries about this scripture. This is what I've learned:

1. House mourning is a place where I may see the hand of God and learn to examine my life; and
2. Sadness often makes the heart better.

I must admit I have examined my life a lot in the past couple of weeks and I have seen the hand of God move in my life and in my grandmother's life too. I was able to lead her to the Lord two weeks before she died. Upon leaving the hospital room that day, I asked her the question "where will you go when you die grandma?" She responded with a childlike smile "heaven." I'll never forgot that smile and the way she said heaven - it was a precious God given moment. I was also able to understand how much grandmother meant to me and with tears in eyes share with her my thoughts and feelings about her. I had never done that before.

Although I don't particularly like being in the house of mourning or experiencing the sorrow that grips my heart, I do have a better understanding of how God uses times like this to refine me and reveal Himself to me in new fresh ways.